It's easy to convince yourself that, if you're not fighting, your relationship is fine. But oftentimes fighting is actually a good sign, because it suggests you're working through problems rather than ignoring them. Here are five telltale signs that your relationship is in trouble.
You Criticize More Than You Compliment
According to famed marriage researcher John Gottman, who can predict divorce with near-perfect accuracy, you should be giving five compliments for every one complaint. Frequent criticism steadily tears down your relationship and self-esteem, and negative interactions can make you feel unhappy and hopeless. If your relationship is low on positive experiences, it's time to seek help.
You Feel Afraid
Fear is a common emotion among those in troubled relationships. On the more serious side of things, if you are afraid your partner will hurt you or someone you love, you need to get out now. But other kinds of fear can be treated. If you're afraid your partner will leave, no longer loves you, or is being unfaithful, therapy can help.
There Are Topics You Won't Discuss
You can't resolve that which you don't discuss. If you're afraid to discuss embarrassing subjects out of fear of being shamed, concerned about how your partner will react to sensitive topics, or simply hopeless about your ability to talk about your challenges, it's time to get help.
You Show Contempt
Healthy relationships are founded upon love, even when you're mad. But couples in trouble are contemptuous of one another, rolling their eyes, ignoring their partner, or belittling one another for what they say or do. If either of you have begun displaying contempt, this indicates a relationship in need of serious resuscitation if it is to continue surviving.
I can help you put the pieces of your relationship back together. Please don't give up until you reach out for help.