You’ve found the partner you want to spend the rest of your life with. But before you two head to the altar, I encourage you to consider premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling is a great idea for new couples as it helps determine role expectations, family goals and helps foster communication skills. It can also help discover potential conflict areas and learn ways to deal with them.
What’s my Role?
Finding out what your partner expects of you and what you expect of them will surely help avoid conflicts in the marriage.
This could range from simple things like who will do household chores, how finances are decided, and how to discipline the children, to more complex issues of past family abuse, misconstrued perceptions of marriage, and hidden mistrust.
What about Family?
Discussing what you each want in a family such as how many children, how soon to start, roles in raising them and even the notion of not having children at all.
Don’t forget to think about extended family as well. Discussing how you will relate to your in-laws, whether you want to stay close to family or move away, and expressing your own relationships with your parents will reveal potential conflicts to resolve now rather than later.
How’s our Dialogue?
The way you each talk and listen to each other can either support or destroy your marriage before it even starts.
Being able to truly listen, hear and validate each other is a skill that not many people naturally have. Couples that can really communicate are more successful at discussing and resolving issues.
So before you buy those wedding bands consider premarital counseling. It’s a nice assurance that you both are going into the marriage with clear expectations and tools to help resolve any future conflicts.
For more information and help, please contact me.