I so love putting together this list every year and this year I am excited as ever! Take a look below! Previous years' lists can be found here, here, and here. 

1. Affirmations cards Do not be turned off by the cheesy unicorn on the box - this deck is legit. In fact, I am a little obsessed with these and want to buy one for everyone. It has been proven that making positive statements aloud can improve mood, relationships, and life experiences. From the creator, "Forty cards offer unique daily affirmations without the self-helpy seriousness - plus ten bonus cards to boost you on your toughest days!" Other decks are also available that are specific to work, relationships, and family. 

2. Everyday Bravery Enamel Pins by artist Emily McDowell. These award badges capture the little and big moments we overcome every single day that rarely, if ever, get recognized. From ignoring haters to picking your battles, to choosing hope over fear and even kicking cancer’s ass, Emily’s pins honor pretty much every single kind of bravery. Even small actions we might not think of as brave. Whether it’s someone in your life who needs a pick me up, or it’s a gift to yourself for making it through another day, I’m pretty sure these pins will put a smile on the face of any lucky person who receives one. Including you.

3. Mindfulness/Anxiety Necklace I love when practical things are also beautiful.  With this special necklace you can wear a reminder to take mindful breaths every day. Inspired by a conversation with a flute-maker who taught them about ancient Japanese monks and their breathing techniques, Todd and Vanessa Steinberg created a pendant that encourages slow, conscious breathing. Simply exhale through the pendant (don't worry, it's not a whistle), and you'll soon find yourself in the midst of a mini meditation—your heart rate slows, toxins are said to be released, and you return to the present moment, where you belong.

4. Succulents Being around greenery has been shown to help mood, so getting somebody who's struggling a bit of greenery, particularly something low maintenance, can be a good way to boost their environment a bit.

5. Mindfulness Journal I love this thing! Love the daily gratitude prompts. With The Mindfulness Journal, you can build an anxiety-busting habit that makes you appreciate every single day.

6. Save on a bundle of 5 counseling or coaching sessions! If you are interested in working with me (or working with me again), but you do not have Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO insurance, or you are a self-pay client, this is a savings of $250 for you! *Sessions will start after January 1, 2019 and will occur only on Saturdays unless you opt in for phone or Skype sessions. Email me today for information, space is limited!

It's that time of year again! Time for my holiday gift guide! You can find past guides here and here. 

I am super excited to share my ideas with you this year! 

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1) Many of my clients know that one of my favorite reads this year was Glennon Doyle's Love Warrior (bonus gift idea!). Now some of the best quotes from her book are available as frame-able, special-edition prints. 

2) Plush "anxiety blobs." These cuddly little guys to remind you that anxious is how you feel, not who you are.

3) A collection of motivating quotes from celebrated author, Cheryl Strayed. This little book is a powerful reminder that life is wild, unpredictable and unique to each of us. There are lots of gems inside. I loved this one: "Hello, fear. Thank you for being here. You're my indication that I'm doing what I need to do."

4) Gift certificate for Floatation Therapy. Float spas are popping up everywhere and there is solid science behind its benefits, especially for PTSD. Float therapy consists of clients entering a pod filled with water and Epsom salt which allows the body to float effortlessly in a 100 percent stimuli-free environment (although, you can choose to listen to music if you wish). Think of floating as a reset button for your brain!

5) Five sessions with Me for $500 (that's over a 25% savings for self-pay clients). Email me to learn more!

Happy shopping and happy holidays!
Jamie

Two weeks ago, I covered the essentials of accountability. This week, let's take a look at accountability's more palatable partner: reward.

Theoretically, goal achievement itself is a reward, but rewarding yourself along the way almost ensures that you reach your ultimate goal. 

Here's how you do it. Employ an age-old psychological principle whereby you reward successive approximations to the goal. In other words, you slowly mold your own behavior by giving yourself a reward every time you make significant progress in the right direction.

Now, you're not a pigeon, but when it comes to behavior change, you actually have a good bit in common with these guys. A behavior change pioneer named B.F. Skinner trained pigeons to complete complex tasks by rewarding them for doing the things pigeons do naturally. By rewarding them for behaving in ways that were progressively more similar to the end goal, the psychologist was able to get those pigeons to do some pretty mind-boggling things. 
The great news about B.F. Skinner's research from long ago is that it still applies today. And it applies to more than just pigeons. You can leverage the power of successive approximations to reach your goals, as well. 

Take weight loss, for example. Weight loss is a complex goal that requires a long-term commitment to quite a number of varied tasks. Instead of waiting until you've lost five pounds to net your first reward, try starting by rewarding behavior that gets you progressively closer to that goal. Set yourself a reward (e.g., movie night with your partner, a new haircut, an hour of that video game you love) for behaviors such as:
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• Drinking 8 glasses of water per day, every day for a week
• Eating a serving of vegetables with your evening meal every day for a month
• Walking 10,000 steps per day for 5 of 7 days
• Keeping your calories under your limit for two consecutive weeks 

When you are devising your reward plan, set it up in a way that makes it incrementally more challenging to reach each successive goal in your hierarchy. Also make the rewards attractive enough that you're willing to work for them, but not so over-the-top that you'll have nothing to look forward to when you reach that final peak.

​Have you enacted the advice in this goal-setting series, but it doesn't seem to be making a difference for you? Contact me, and let's talk about it. With a professional on your side, you'll be able to tweak your goal-achievement strategy in a way that works for you.

Did you know that today is known as Blue Monday - aka the gloomiest day of the year? In 2005, Dr Cliff Arnall, formerly of Cardiff University, came up with a light-hearted formula for predicting the gloomiest day of the year based on factors including weather, debts, time since Christmas and motivation. Based on his formula, that day is the third Monday in January. 

Blue Monday is not a clinical term or a day officially acknowledged by psychologists, but depression during winter IS. While depression has many forms and can occur during any time, there is a form of depression that is specific to the Winter months -- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

SAD is a biological and mood-disturbing process that's directly linked to changes in the seasons. Kurlansik et al (2013) report that most of the population suffering from SAD (around 5%) feel the effects in Fall, carrying through Winter, with remission occurring in the Spring and even Summer. Symptoms can exist for as much as 40% of the year. But what is SAD, and how can those who suffer from it counteract its effects?

Understanding SAD
SAD, at its most basic level, is Winter-onset depression. It can be as minor as not feeling like yourself during the colder months -- less motivated, less happy, less interested in going out and doing your favorite things. It can also be a larger change, such as not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to go to work, or even harmful self-thoughts. If you are familiar with depression and have a history of it, then you may be able to see the similarities between depression and SAD. 

Could you have Seasonal Affective Disorder?
While I encourage you to get a  proper diagnosis from a professional, you may be able to answer some of these questions to determine if speaking with someone about SAD is the right move for you:

• Have you noticed that your depression typically comes at around the same time of year?
• Does your mood seem directly tied with the weather, especially when days are more overcast or cloudy?
• Do you have a family history of depression?
• Do you find that your "spirits lift" or you feel "like your old self again" when Spring rolls around?

If you believe that SAD may be something you experience, I encourage you to contact me. You are not alone and you do not have to feel this way. There are multiple therapies available to you and I am here to help you on your journey to enjoying your life again - even in winter months!

The statistics aren't pretty.  Nearly four in ten of us make New Year's resolutions and research from the University of Scranton suggests that only 8% manage to keep them. So what's the motivated, well-intended resolution-maker to do?

Strategize.

Yes, strategize.

Goal-setting hinges on two equally important aspects: planning and follow-through. Scrimp on either one and your goals could suffer. Do them right, and whether your goal is physical fitness, relationship enhancement, or financial stability, you can achieve it. This post will focus on the planning aspect. Stay tuned for a future blog on the final key to successful goal setting: follow-through.

You shoot yourself in the foot when you create lofty, vague, non-measurable goals. "Get healthy," "improve my relationships" and "get rich," for example, will not cut it. Instead, revise these laudable goals in such a way that they are achievable, specific, and objective.

Weight loss, for example, is a common New Year's resolution, and its estimated failure rate is a whopping 80%. Eighty percent. Most of the people who fail at weight loss goals had either a very loose plan or no plan at all. They start out strong and fizzle in a month or two.

But not you. You're different, and you're smart. You're going to arm yourself with the information you need to set goals that will come to fruition by the time you read this blog in 2018. Do you want to be fit? free of debt? happier? Here's how it's done.

First, make your goals achievable. Set a goal that seems just a smidgen beyond what you can handle right now. Give yourself a challenge, but don't set a goal so unrealistic that you doom yourself to failure. By challenging yourself, you'll feel great when you discover just what you're made of, and you will feel motivated to do even more.

Now that you've set an achievable goal, ensure that is specific. And by specific, I mean very specific. Make it detailed. Break it down. Instead of saying "I want to have great abs," try something like this. "I will complete 100 crunches daily, at least 5 days a week."

In addition to making your goal achievable and specific, it is vital that your goal is measurable. How will you know that you've achieved your goal? If you woke up tomorrow morning and your goal had been realized, how would you know?

In our "get great abs" example, perhaps you would notice that your waist size has decreased. Perhaps you are able to hold a plank position for five minutes without breaking a sweat. However you choose to measure your goal, make it clean-cut and objective. 

Finally, a bonus tip: when planning your New Year's resolutions, it is important that you write them down. You can type them into your phone or scrawl them in a notebook and you will be miles ahead when you give your goals physical form. 

Need some guidance in formulating your New Year's resolutions and making certain you achieve them? Let's talk. We'll work on it together. In the meantime, stay tuned for part 2 of this post on goal setting: follow through.

Last year's gift guide was a such a hit that I couldn't wait to put together this year's little listy for you! 

1. Buddy Box - Hug in a Box:  I am most excited about this find and I am sad that I didn't think of it first, ha! Buddy Box is put together by an organization called Blurt whose mission is to help those affected by depression. A Buddy Box or Hug in a Box contains at least 5 quality products hand-picked to nourish, inspire and encourage self-care. You can buy a one-off box or subscribe on a monthly, quarterly, six-monthly or annual basis! I am personally obsessed with subscription boxes and love the idea of enrolling a friend in this program. Blurt also encourages sending the boxes as a random act of kindness!

2. Weighted Blanket by SensaCalm: I am also really excited about this item. Okay, who am I kidding? I am excited about everything on this list. A weighted blanket is a therapeutic blanket made with weights. The deep pressure from the weight causes the body to produce serotonin and endorphins, which are the chemicals our bodies naturally use to feel relaxed or calm. Sensacalm has a variety of patterns and sizes that I think are just great. Note: weighted blankets are not just for children, they work great for adults, too. Sometimes I like to cozy up under a blanket with a cup of tea and my mindfulness coloring book - I highly recommend this self-care triple whammy!

3. Acupuncture: Give the gift of wellbeing and calm this year by purchasing a package of acupuncture sessions. I refer all of my clients to Jade Path here in Chicago because I love Claretha's approach and find her to be a kindred spirit. She just gets it.

4. Natural Calm: I am never without this stuff. Natural Calm is a fruity, effervescent drink that promotes healthy magnesium levels and balances calcium intake—helping you to feel less stressed and more relaxed. My favorite is the Raspberry Lemon flavor. You can purchase a large container or individual serving packets (which would make great stocking stuffers). Note: always check with a Dr. before starting new supplements

5. Buddha Board: Master the art of letting go with this funky little guy. A Zen-like Etch-a-Sketch, use the included brush to paint designs onto the board with water. As the water evaporates your image will fade, but will reveal a new perspective on your creative endeavors encouraging mindfulness and living in the moment. 

6. Sleep book: I stumbled upon this gem last night at Barnes and Noble and nabbed it right away. It's legit. The author, a therapist and mindfulness expert, packed the book full of tips, tricks, mantras, and helpful reminders. I plan to keep mine on my nightstand. 

I hope you have found this list helpful! Here is a link to last year's list. Happy shopping and happy hoidays!

When you think of anxiety, I bet you picture a very specific image: someone who's extremely nervous, jittery, and who gives off all the signs of fear. Anxiety actually comes in many shapes and sizes. Because of all its varieties, people who are suffering from anxiety don't always realize what their symptoms mean. Which is why you should pay attention if you experience any of the following.

#1: Anger and Irritability
If you've ever found yourself at a party, or a big social gathering, and you're getting angry or irritable for no reason, you might be suffering from anxiety. This reaction isn't thought of as typical, especially since anxiety isn't seen as aggressive in nature, but it might be the underlying cause.

#2: Feeling of Detachment
Have you ever been at a bar, or a party, and just pulled inside yourself for a while? Then when the friend you came with shakes your shoulder, you realize that 20 minutes went by while you were disconnected? That kind of detachment can be a result of anxiety, as your brain pulls in on itself to escape the unpleasant stimuli.

#3: Numbness
One of the more unpleasant, and alarming, symptoms of anxiety is numbness. It might be in your nose, your fingertips, or your lips, but it's not uncommon for parts of the body to feel numb and unresponsive. You might not feel any other problems, which can make the numbness confusing and frightening. Always see your doctor, but if there are no physical causes, it could be psychological.

For more information on anxiety, and how you can deal with it, schedule a chat with me today!