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2018 Mental Health Holiday Gift Guide

11/27/2018

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 I so love putting together this list every year and this year I am excited as ever! Take a look below! Previous years' lists can be found here, here, and here. 

1. Affirmations cards Do not be turned off by the cheesy unicorn on the box - this deck is legit. In fact, I am a little obsessed with these and want to buy one for everyone. It has been proven that making positive statements aloud can improve mood, relationships, and life experiences. From the creator, "Forty cards offer unique daily affirmations without the self-helpy seriousness - plus ten bonus cards to boost you on your toughest days!" Other decks are also available that are specific to work, relationships, and family. 

2. Everyday Bravery Enamel Pins by artist Emily McDowell. These award badges capture the little and big moments we overcome every single day that rarely, if ever, get recognized. From ignoring haters to picking your battles, to choosing hope over fear and even kicking cancer’s ass, Emily’s pins honor pretty much every single kind of bravery. Even small actions we might not think of as brave. Whether it’s someone in your life who needs a pick me up, or it’s a gift to yourself for making it through another day, I’m pretty sure these pins will put a smile on the face of any lucky person who receives one. Including you.

3. Mindfulness/Anxiety Necklace I love when practical things are also beautiful.  With this special necklace you can wear a reminder to take mindful breaths every day. Inspired by a conversation with a flute-maker who taught them about ancient Japanese monks and their breathing techniques, Todd and Vanessa Steinberg created a pendant that encourages slow, conscious breathing. Simply exhale through the pendant (don't worry, it's not a whistle), and you'll soon find yourself in the midst of a mini meditation—your heart rate slows, toxins are said to be released, and you return to the present moment, where you belong.

4. Succulents Being around greenery has been shown to help mood, so getting somebody who's struggling a bit of greenery, particularly something low maintenance, can be a good way to boost their environment a bit.

5. Mindfulness Journal I love this thing! Love the daily gratitude prompts. With The Mindfulness Journal, you can build an anxiety-busting habit that makes you appreciate every single day.

6. Save on a bundle of 5 counseling or coaching sessions! If you are interested in working with me (or working with me again), but you do not have Blue Cross Blue Shield PPO insurance, or you are a self-pay client, this is a savings of $250 for you! *Sessions will start after January 1, 2019 and will occur only on Saturdays unless you opt in for phone or Skype sessions. Email me today for information, space is limited!
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2017 Mental Health Holiday Gift Guide

11/27/2017

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It's that time of year again! Time for my holiday gift guide! You can find past guides here and here. 

I am super excited to share my ideas with you this year! 

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1) Many of my clients know that one of my favorite reads this year was Glennon Doyle's Love Warrior (bonus gift idea!). Now some of the best quotes from her book are available as frame-able, special-edition prints. 

2) Plush "anxiety blobs." These cuddly little guys to remind you that anxious is how you feel, not who you are.

3) A collection of motivating quotes from celebrated author, Cheryl Strayed. This little book is a powerful reminder that life is wild, unpredictable and unique to each of us. There are lots of gems inside. I loved this one: "Hello, fear. Thank you for being here. You're my indication that I'm doing what I need to do."

4) Gift certificate for Floatation Therapy. Float spas are popping up everywhere and there is solid science behind its benefits, especially for PTSD. Float therapy consists of clients entering a pod filled with water and Epsom salt which allows the body to float effortlessly in a 100 percent stimuli-free environment (although, you can choose to listen to music if you wish). Think of floating as a reset button for your brain!

5) Five sessions with Me for $500 (that's over a 25% savings for self-pay clients). Email me to learn more!


Happy shopping and happy holidays!
Jamie




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The Psychology of Goal Setting: Making Resolutions Stick Part 3

1/24/2017

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Two weeks ago, I covered the essentials of accountability. This week, let's take a look at accountability's more palatable partner: reward.

Theoretically, goal achievement itself is a reward, but rewarding yourself along the way almost ensures that you reach your ultimate goal. 

Here's how you do it. Employ an age-old psychological principle whereby you reward successive approximations to the goal. In other words, you slowly mold your own behavior by giving yourself a reward every time you make significant progress in the right direction.

Now, you're not a pigeon, but when it comes to behavior change, you actually have a good bit in common with these guys. A behavior change pioneer named B.F. Skinner trained pigeons to complete complex tasks by rewarding them for doing the things pigeons do naturally. By rewarding them for behaving in ways that were progressively more similar to the end goal, the psychologist was able to get those pigeons to do some pretty mind-boggling things. 
The great news about B.F. Skinner's research from long ago is that it still applies today. And it applies to more than just pigeons. You can leverage the power of successive approximations to reach your goals, as well. 

Take weight loss, for example. Weight loss is a complex goal that requires a long-term commitment to quite a number of varied tasks. Instead of waiting until you've lost five pounds to net your first reward, try starting by rewarding behavior that gets you progressively closer to that goal. Set yourself a reward (e.g., movie night with your partner, a new haircut, an hour of that video game you love) for behaviors such as:
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  • Drinking 8 glasses of water per day, every day for a week
  • Eating a serving of vegetables with your evening meal every day for a month
  • Walking 10,000 steps per day for 5 of 7 days
  • Keeping your calories under your limit for two consecutive weeks 

When you are devising your reward plan, set it up in a way that makes it incrementally more challenging to reach each successive goal in your hierarchy. Also make the rewards attractive enough that you're willing to work for them, but not so over-the-top that you'll have nothing to look forward to when you reach that final peak.

​Have you enacted the advice in this goal-setting series, but it doesn't seem to be making a difference for you? Contact me, and let's talk about it. With a professional on your side, you'll be able to tweak your goal-achievement strategy in a way that works for you.

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Winter Depression: Dealing with Seasonal Affective Disorder

1/15/2017

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Did you know that today is known as Blue Monday - aka the gloomiest day of the year? In 2005, Dr Cliff Arnall, formerly of Cardiff University, came up with a light-hearted formula for predicting the gloomiest day of the year based on factors including weather, debts, time since Christmas and motivation. Based on his formula, that day is the third Monday in January. 

Blue Monday is not a clinical term or a day officially acknowledged by psychologists, but depression during winter IS. While depression has many forms and can occur during any time, there is a form of depression that is specific to the Winter months -- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

SAD is a biological and mood-disturbing process that's directly linked to changes in the seasons. Kurlansik et al (2013) report that most of the population suffering from SAD (around 5%) feel the effects in Fall, carrying through Winter, with remission occurring in the Spring and even Summer. Symptoms can exist for as much as 40% of the year. But what is SAD, and how can those who suffer from it counteract its effects?

Understanding SAD
SAD, at its most basic level, is Winter-onset depression. It can be as minor as not feeling like yourself during the colder months -- less motivated, less happy, less interested in going out and doing your favorite things. It can also be a larger change, such as not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to go to work, or even harmful self-thoughts. If you are familiar with depression and have a history of it, then you may be able to see the similarities between depression and SAD. 

Could you have Seasonal Affective Disorder?
While I encourage you to get a  proper diagnosis from a professional, you may be able to answer some of these questions to determine if speaking with someone about SAD is the right move for you:
  • Have you noticed that your depression typically comes at around the same time of year?
  • Does your mood seem directly tied with the weather, especially when days are more overcast or cloudy?
  • Do you have a family history of depression?
  • Do you find that your "spirits lift" or you feel "like your old self again" when Spring rolls around?
If you believe that SAD may be something you experience, I encourage you to contact me. You are not alone and you do not have to feel this way. There are multiple therapies available to you and I am here to help you on your journey to enjoying your life again - even in winter months!
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The Psychology of Goal-setting: Making Resolutions Stick, Part 2

1/9/2017

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Last week, I wrote about the basics of goal-setting. Click here to read part one of this series. 

Accountability.
Does the mere word leave you in a quivering puddle? Or maybe have you digging in your heels in defiance at the thought of it?

How about this one: reward.

"Reward" sounds a bit better, no? 

Here's the catch. Accountability and reward work best as a team. Together, they form the second key to making your New Year's resolutions stick. Accountability and reward are all about follow-through. And follow-through is what transforms good intentions into reality. Stay tuned for part three of this series for more on how to leverage a reward system for shoring up your goal-achieving mojo.

Though many shy away from it, accountability can be your best friend when it comes to goal achievement. The idea of answering to someone (or some system) can feel off-putting, particularly to those who prefer to answer only to themselves. Without it, though, your natural tendency is to do nothing. To maintain the status quo.

Think of homeostasis -- the natural tendency for living systems to maintain the status quo -- as your most bitter foe. To change and to move forward, human beings need a reason. That reason regularly comes in the form of discomfort. That discomfort, however, needs to be at the right level. Too little, and there will be no movement. Too much, and it will feel like a punishment.

By building in an accountability system, you create discomfort. It's that ever-present murmur at the back of your mind whispering "I don't want to exercise today, but I don't want to have to admit that to my accountability partner next Monday." With a human accountability partner, the idea of having to admit defeat may trump your reluctance to exercise.  That is a lot more challenging if the only one to whom you are admitting defeat is yourself. It can be far too easy -- and far too tempting -- to cut yourself a break, especially when you're at the beginning of the change process.
Accountability partners may come in the form of a friend or family member. Perhaps you work better with anonymous people in an online group. Both of these options can work, and they can work quite well.

What will your accountability system look like? If you haven't already, set it up today and you will be one step closer to achieving your goal.

Perhaps your goals are more complex than that of the average resolution-maker or too personal to share online or with a friend. Professional support can be that make-it-or-break-it factor in these cases. If you've enacted the advice in this article series, but still find yourself struggling, or if you feel so stuck that you can't even get yourself to start, there is hope. Give me a call or complete my contact form, and we'll get there. Together.
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The Psychology of Goal Setting: Making Resolutions Stick - Part One

1/1/2017

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The statistics aren't pretty.  Nearly four in ten of us make New Year's resolutions and research from the University of Scranton suggests that only 8% manage to keep them. So what's the motivated, well-intended resolution-maker to do?

Strategize.

Yes, strategize.

Goal-setting hinges on two equally important aspects: planning and follow-through. Scrimp on either one and your goals could suffer. Do them right, and whether your goal is physical fitness, relationship enhancement, or financial stability, you can achieve it. This post will focus on the planning aspect. Stay tuned for a future blog on the final key to successful goal setting: follow-through.

You shoot yourself in the foot when you create lofty, vague, non-measurable goals. "Get healthy," "improve my relationships" and "get rich," for example, will not cut it. Instead, revise these laudable goals in such a way that they are achievable, specific, and objective.

Weight loss, for example, is a common New Year's resolution, and its estimated failure rate is a whopping 80%. Eighty percent. Most of the people who fail at weight loss goals had either a very loose plan or no plan at all. They start out strong and fizzle in a month or two.

But not you. You're different, and you're smart. You're going to arm yourself with the information you need to set goals that will come to fruition by the time you read this blog in 2018. Do you want to be fit? free of debt? happier? Here's how it's done.

First, make your goals achievable. Set a goal that seems just a smidgen beyond what you can handle right now. Give yourself a challenge, but don't set a goal so unrealistic that you doom yourself to failure. By challenging yourself, you'll feel great when you discover just what you're made of, and you will feel motivated to do even more.

Now that you've set an achievable goal, ensure that is specific. And by specific, I mean very specific. Make it detailed. Break it down. Instead of saying "I want to have great abs," try something like this. "I will complete 100 crunches daily, at least 5 days a week."

In addition to making your goal achievable and specific, it is vital that your goal is measurable. How will you know that you've achieved your goal? If you woke up tomorrow morning and your goal had been realized, how would you know?

In our "get great abs" example, perhaps you would notice that your waist size has decreased. Perhaps you are able to hold a plank position for five minutes without breaking a sweat. However you choose to measure your goal, make it clean-cut and objective. 

Finally, a bonus tip: when planning your New Year's resolutions, it is important that you write them down. You can type them into your phone or scrawl them in a notebook and you will be miles ahead when you give your goals physical form. 

Need some guidance in formulating your New Year's resolutions and making certain you achieve them? Let's talk. We'll work on it together. In the meantime, stay tuned for part 2 of this post on goal setting: follow through.


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2016 Mental Health Holiday Gift Guide

12/13/2016

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Last year's gift guide was a such a hit that I couldn't wait to put together this year's little listy for you! 

1. Buddy Box - Hug in a Box:  I am most excited about this find and I am sad that I didn't think of it first, ha! Buddy Box is put together by an organization called Blurt whose mission is to help those affected by depression. A Buddy Box or Hug in a Box contains at least 5 quality products hand-picked to nourish, inspire and encourage self-care. You can buy a one-off box or subscribe on a monthly, quarterly, six-monthly or annual basis! I am personally obsessed with subscription boxes and love the idea of enrolling a friend in this program. Blurt also encourages sending the boxes as a random act of kindness!

2. Weighted Blanket by SensaCalm: I am also really excited about this item. Okay, who am I kidding? I am excited about everything on this list. A weighted blanket is a therapeutic blanket made with weights. The deep pressure from the weight causes the body to produce serotonin and endorphins, which are the chemicals our bodies naturally use to feel relaxed or calm. Sensacalm has a variety of patterns and sizes that I think are just great. Note: weighted blankets are not just for children, they work great for adults, too. Sometimes I like to cozy up under a blanket with a cup of tea and my mindfulness coloring book - I highly recommend this self-care triple whammy!

3. Acupuncture: Give the gift of wellbeing and calm this year by purchasing a package of acupuncture sessions. I refer all of my clients to Jade Path here in Chicago because I love Claretha's approach and find her to be a kindred spirit. She just gets it.

4. Natural Calm: I am never without this stuff. Natural Calm is a fruity, effervescent drink that promotes healthy magnesium levels and balances calcium intake—helping you to feel less stressed and more relaxed. My favorite is the Raspberry Lemon flavor. You can purchase a large container or individual serving packets (which would make great stocking stuffers). Note: always check with a Dr. before starting new supplements

5. Buddha Board: Master the art of letting go with this funky little guy. A Zen-like Etch-a-Sketch, use the included brush to paint designs onto the board with water. As the water evaporates your image will fade, but will reveal a new perspective on your creative endeavors encouraging mindfulness and living in the moment. 

6. Sleep book: I stumbled upon this gem last night at Barnes and Noble and nabbed it right away. It's legit. The author, a therapist and mindfulness expert, packed the book full of tips, tricks, mantras, and helpful reminders. I plan to keep mine on my nightstand. 

I hope you have found this list helpful! Here is a link to last year's list. Happy shopping and happy hoidays!
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Depression: An Open Letter From Me To You When You Need Encouragement Most

11/14/2016

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You have already read a half-dozen self-help articles this week, maybe even already cried a half-dozen more and lost yourself for hours in what felt like minutes. I bet you would likely give anything for a moment where it felt like the sea wasn’t choppy and the anchor could drop into steady sandbanks near a shore that was within swimming distance.

I get it. I do. It’s. So. Hard…

Though you are on the other side of the screen, I believe you came here for a reason. And I would like to use this platform to tell you a few things that I hope you will revisit when the night is too long and the day is too tough. Save it. Read it. Reread it… and mark it on the doors of your heart.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I know this because no one is ever really alone. We are all connected. As you read this letter, others read it too… the exact same pain for very different reasons, joining you in an invisible link that spans who knows how far. There is help. There is hope and there is purpose beyond what you can see today.

YOU WERE MADE TO DO GREAT THINGS

It’s true.
As long as you are alive and breathing, there are chapters still unwritten in your life. Have you ever gotten halfway through a book that hooks you and then you keep reading only to discover this book is now your favorite? And the next time you read it, you know that the chapters that lie ahead of you are the ones that leave you in the greatest anticipation.

They are the lines that you will remember and the story that you will revisit time and time again because you know that the beautiful words are coming. They are on the horizon, real, true and sure to the very last page. What do you remember most about The Great Gatsby? I don’t often remember how terrible Daisy was at times or how sad it all was.  instead I remember that we “beat on," that we keep reaching… that no matter what… we keep reaching…
And just like that...

YOUR STORY GOES ON.
No matter what brought you here or why depression came into the picture… your worth is still immeasurable. You have worth and you matter. You are going to get through this with the kind of grace and strength that can only come from learning day by day to appreciate who you are, the goodness in your heart, and the dreams that are yet to come true.

IT GETS BETTER…
As you travel this journey to feel better and unravel the knots, you’ll no doubt be left with a bit of ribbon. The remnants of this ribbon have made you who you are and the reminder of them will make you stronger some day. You cannot erase the months or years that depression has stolen or alter the story before today, but the story is changing...

And tangled with new, beautiful words to create what lies ahead… it’s going to be good here – so good.

Today is the first day of those new words. It Is never too late. Just keep on walking, keep on writing your story and keep on being good to yourself. No matter how much you feel like you don’t deserve it… you do. You deserve good things and good things are on the way.

I know it because I have seen it time and time again. I know it because you are here and your life goes on. I know it because, if I know nothing else, it is that a good story is always best after the middle and the beautiful words that you create will be the thing that makes your life a classic, an epic tale of goodness that deserves a reread every chance you get. If you ever need help remembering that, reach out. There will be a hand to reach back.

All my very best,
Jamie

Purchased on: Thursday, October 27, 2016
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Avoid These 4 Roadblocks to Being a Good Listener

10/18/2016

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Relationships are tough, and they can be even more challenging when those involved do not feel heard or understood. Listening is a vital part of communication but it is sometimes overlooked as a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. There are several common roadblocks to being a good listener and avoiding them can lead to more satisfying and efficient communication.

1. Jumping to a solution. Solutions are important, but trying to fix your partner's problems or offer advice before connecting with his or her feelings may hinder a true connection. Often people in relationships offer solutions with the best intentions and fail to realize the timing of their advice may leave their partner feeling misunderstood or unheard.

2. Analyzing actions. One of the best ways to listen well is to hold off on analyzing your partner's words or actions until he or she feels fully understood. Concentrating on why your partner said or did something may distract you from connecting with the content of his or her message.

3. Assigning blame. It is easy to fall into the trap of assigning a “good guy” and a “bad guy” to a given situation. However, making moral judgments or assigning blame while listening may prevent you from seeing the situation from your partner’s point of view, and your partner may not feel like he or she has a safe space to express feelings and opinions.

4. Asking loaded questions. Verbal feedback and questions may seem like the signs of a good listener, but it is important to pay attention to the type of questions you are asking. If you are asking questions with an answer in mind or questions that are designed to lead the speaker to a certain conclusion, you may not be listening as well as you think you are. 

Interested in becoming a better listener and sharpening your communication skills?
Contact me for professional, therapeutic assistance!
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3 Unexpected Signs of Anxiety

10/6/2016

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When you think of anxiety, I bet you picture a very specific image: someone who's extremely nervous, jittery, and who gives off all the signs of fear. Anxiety actually comes in many shapes and sizes. Because of all its varieties, people who are suffering from anxiety don't always realize what their symptoms mean. Which is why you should pay attention if you experience any of the following.

#1: Anger and Irritability
If you've ever found yourself at a party, or a big social gathering, and you're getting angry or irritable for no reason, you might be suffering from anxiety. This reaction isn't thought of as typical, especially since anxiety isn't seen as aggressive in nature, but it might be the underlying cause.

#2: Feeling of Detachment
Have you ever been at a bar, or a party, and just pulled inside yourself for a while? Then when the friend you came with shakes your shoulder, you realize that 20 minutes went by while you were disconnected? That kind of detachment can be a result of anxiety, as your brain pulls in on itself to escape the unpleasant stimuli.

#3: Numbness
One of the more unpleasant, and alarming, symptoms of anxiety is numbness. It might be in your nose, your fingertips, or your lips, but it's not uncommon for parts of the body to feel numb and unresponsive. You might not feel any other problems, which can make the numbness confusing and frightening. Always see your doctor, but if there are no physical causes, it could be psychological.

For more information on anxiety, and how you can deal with it, schedule a chat with me today! 

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